Saturday, 10 January 2015

My Thoughts Whilst Driving

So for those who may know me, they know that I'm learning to drive. I have been learning to drive in my families little Hyundai i20 since October 3rd (Mean Girls reference haha) and over the last few days, we had been camping and my parents felt I was confident enough to drive home.

So I did.

And these ladies and gentlemen are the thoughts I had driving from little town Pomona to more inner Brisbane. It got pretty ridiculous for little me.

'Alright, on the road'

'Turn up those tunes'

*Hums to 'Lips Are Movin'*

"Dad I promise I'm concentrating on the road and not the music, relax"

'Weeeee corners are freaking amazing'

*Shuffles in car seat*

"Dad I'm not going too fast alright"

'Oh wait, it's 90km/h and not 100?'

'La la la ooh that cars nice'

"Dad buy me that car. Thanks"

'Omg this is the highway'

'Can this guy kindly not be up my backside'

'Holy frick that truck is so big'

'WHY IS THIS TRUCK SO SLOW'

'Great. Stuck behind a truck'

*Hums to 'Prayer in C'*

*Starts dancing, gets slapped by Dad*

'This old man next to me needs to learn how to live'

'That sign says to look out for wild horses, that's cool'

'I THINK I SAW A HORSE'

'Nope, that was a log'

'Why did I think that was a horse'

'God-dam now I've got another guy far too close behind me'

*Fiddles with air con*

'This music is so good, I'm pretty good at making mixes'

*Starts singing out loud to 'New Flame'*

*Gets told off by Dad*

'GET OFF MY ASS'

'Please'

*Stares creepily at a kid in a back seat as I drive awesomely past*

'God I'm a freak'

*Does the 'Harlem Shake'*

*Gets laughed at by some green P plater*

'Fml'

'Please sir, do get away from my ass or I will slam the brakes and it will end badly for both of us'

*Sees a drive through*

"Dad I'm hungry"

'This man's going to let me starve'

'Ayeee we're getting off the highway'

*Waves back at a kid*

'Why he be waving?'

'Was he waving at me?'

'Oh no what if he wasn't'

'That's so awkward'

'Hell yeah traffic time'

*Gets stuck in traffic*

*Dad starts complaining about horrible traffic*

"I actually enjoy driving in traffic"

*Gets stared at by father disgustedly*

'I'm craving chicken'

'Chicken nuggets would be good right now'

*Swerves away from some idiot driver*

"SHOW SOME CLASS YOU IMBECILE"

*Gets told off by Dad for yelling*

*Pulls into drive way*

"HECK YEAH WE HOME"

*Gets told off again by Dad for being too loud*


And there we have it guys, the most weirdest thought conversation thing you will probably ever read. As you can probably tell, yes, I like my music, and yeah, people here in Australia like to drive up Learner Drivers butts. They seem to get joy out of it, while I get joy out of secretly flipping them off. 

All works out in the end.

Sarah Judith xx